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I knew now that Lisa regretted it happening at all. That had probably been the deal breaker for us as a trio, and if I’d had my head out of the clouds and in the real world, I’d have known where this was heading. Where it had to head. Lisa and Ted were leaving me, and Gretchen would soon tire of me. As the desire for a child grew stronger, she would leave me, too. Leave me in search of a man that could give her what I could not. Over the next half hour, I drank half the bottle and was filled with a warm glow. It wasn’t real, I knew. But for now it would keep the pain at bay. Lord knows I should know that for a fact. I held up the bottle, feeling a little disconnected from my own body. This was therapeutic, medicinal. A light came on somewhere behind me, probably in the Brown Room, but I knew I was safe in the shade of the trees. No one could see me out here. Not from in there, anyway. A small voice whispered how they were worried about me, but I dismissed it. It was probably just. I figured that as soon I had found myself, I would then be able to find someone else, but it wasn't that simple. Since I was new to womanhood, I had no reference points about romance. Every time I started thinking about what I wanted in a man, I started thinking about Robin my best friend in high school and the way he held me in his arms. Don't get me wrong he wasn't a stud. He never had a steady girlfriend in high school, hell I heard he still wasn't married, but I always felt it was because girls never took the time to know him the way I did. I would have daydreams about how if I had been a girl back in high school we would have ended up married. Well dammit I was a woman now and maybe there was still some hope to be able fulfill that dream. So here I was getting ready for the big reunion. I felt as nervous as adebutante before her big ball. Would Robin turn out to be my Prince Charming or was that an unrealistic dream that I was still clinging to? Maybe that's why you.
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